Reflections From Cynthia
Feeling young, feeling old, forty five is a very weird age. You think of yourself still young and look at people funny when you know they are thinking older.
Most days I feel young. I can work all day and all night, knowing that most twenty year olds do not have my work ethics, nor do they try. Yet that very thing makes me feel old, speaking of twenty year olds who can’t keep up.
It is weird, the mind that is. You feel young, you think young, and then you look in the mirror or say something you know just came out of your grandparent’s mouths. Simple things like going to work. I used to be one of the young ones and would look at the older ones and think “Some day I will have your job” and now I look around and know someday they will have mine. God Bless them. Simple things like taking a trip to the doctor. The nurses and the doctor used to all be older than me and now they are all younger. How did that happen? My mind says I am still young, and then I look around.
I can hear my inner self crying “You are not getting older” but at the same time I can hear my inner self crying “You are getting older”. I always seem to hear that old saying, “You are only as old as you feel" and I have to admit that some days that is pretty old. I look at my twenty three year old son and twenty one year old daughter and know they must be someone else’s kids. I am not old enough to have birthed them, am I?
Most days I feel young. I can work all day and all night, knowing that most twenty year olds do not have my work ethics, nor do they try. Yet that very thing makes me feel old, speaking of twenty year olds who can’t keep up.
It is weird, the mind that is. You feel young, you think young, and then you look in the mirror or say something you know just came out of your grandparent’s mouths. Simple things like going to work. I used to be one of the young ones and would look at the older ones and think “Some day I will have your job” and now I look around and know someday they will have mine. God Bless them. Simple things like taking a trip to the doctor. The nurses and the doctor used to all be older than me and now they are all younger. How did that happen? My mind says I am still young, and then I look around.
I can hear my inner self crying “You are not getting older” but at the same time I can hear my inner self crying “You are getting older”. I always seem to hear that old saying, “You are only as old as you feel" and I have to admit that some days that is pretty old. I look at my twenty three year old son and twenty one year old daughter and know they must be someone else’s kids. I am not old enough to have birthed them, am I?
May I always be open minded. May I always have this battle of young or old going on. For as long as I do, I am still young at heart.
